Differentiation and separation


Differentiation and separation begin around ages ten to thirteen. You can spot it when you start to see or sense active and passive resistance. Active resistance is vocal and argumentative: “I already cleaned my room this week and don’t feel like doing it again.” Passive resistance is nonverbal and dismisses or delays on requests. Kids drag their feet when asked to clean the room. Separation is part of social growth, differentiation is important for their personal identity and individuality, and opposition in its very nature creates autonomy. Like it or not, raising children to become adults means transitional rubs. It’s normal. Separation requires a new set of expectations for creating a close-knit family.

Ted Cunningham

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From the book “Trophy Child”

Available on amazon.co.uk*

Available on amazon.com*



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